327 ~ How To Handle Mistakes

Hello Magical Human & welcome back to Madison Mindset the Podcast 🪬

Join me for this episode where we talk about how normal it is to be human! Making mistakes is a normal part of being human, but how we respond to them determines our growth and the quality of our relationships. Mistakes are powerful teachers, if you're willing to learn from them.

If you're struggling with anxiety, self-doubt, or building healthy relationships and want to go deeper into your personal evolution, I'm offering one-on-one coaching. Book a free 30-minute coaching clarity call with Madison to connect & learn all about this opportunity 🧚🏼
(link below)

Allow yourself to be human 

Love,

Madison Mindset x

Chapters

• 0:29 Welcome and Personal Health Update
• 4:17 Finding Joy in Disconnecting
• 5:43 One-on-One Coaching Opportunity
• 10:00 Introduction to Making Mistakes
• 14:00 Learning from Relationship Mistakes
• 18:08 Responding to Partner's Hurt Feelings
• 21:11 Three Key Takeaways About Mistakes

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:29

hello, magical human. Welcome back to madison mindset the podcast. I hope you are well, hope everything's going smoothly, as smooth as things can go in life. I have been pretty sick, spent the last couple weeks pretty down, down, super down, super down, low blood pressure, feeling dizzy all the time, headaches, all that stuff. And then, because I was already there, I got sick as well and then I was in bed for a couple of days and I'm just starting to feel like myself again, which is good. But yeah, reminder to slow down, take it easy, it's all good, it's.

Speaker 2: 1:05

I'm definitely the type of person who leans more towards doing way too much. You know, I don't have trouble doing things, but I do way too much, you know, and it puts quite a strain on you over time. So highly recommend taking rest, rest, and I'm still learning that myself. I'm nowhere near perfect with that, but I like to remind you, because I'm reminding myself every day rest, rest, carve out this time for rest. You don't have to do everything in one day. So, yeah, otherwise you'll get taken down in one way or another. For me it was a cold or the flu or whatever it was, and then I couldn't move, couldn't move for a couple of days and then your body's like great thanks, I'll be taking a rest now. And you're like, yep, fair enough. So rather actually give yourself a rest.

Speaker 2: 1:58

I shared this post on Insta this morning. It was pretty cool. It was a picture of three different batteries and one of them was like fully charged green battery. The middle one was your half you know yellow battery and the other one was the red battery and it was saying take rest when you're on the yellow, not the red, and that's resonated so much with me. I was like it's so true, you've got to rest before you hit empty. Rest before you hit empty. You've got to replenish the battery on the yellow for humans anyway. For humans, when you start to get signs of oh, I'm running low, now's your opportunity to take rest and to chill Really important. So yeah, that was really interesting.

Speaker 2: 2:43

I had a really cool weekend as well. I was out in the middle of nowhere with my love and some of his family, which was really fun. I love being in the middle of nowhere. Seriously no service, just animals and nature and you just there's nothing you can do except read your book or play board games or chat with everyone is just so much, so much fun, so I really enjoyed that. It was about two hours from home, a little bit North, still inland a bit in Australia, but wow, beautiful forests, kangaroos everywhere, all beautiful birds, bird song is amazing, really cool, and some cool history around the area, so it was just beautiful.

Speaker 2: 3:26

I love, I love that my ideal life is literally just doing that. That's all I do. I'm in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing, just chilling, planting, chatting with people, gardening, hanging out, painting, writing. Oh, it's so much fun, so good. It's honestly makes for such a fulfilling life. And my partner mentioned that you know like make your work your life. You know you, your life is your work. You know so you're gardening or cutting up firewood or just all that kind of stuff. It just feels so nourishing for the soul. So highly recommend that.

Speaker 2: 4:05

Find a place that doesn't have service and just hang out. It feels unbelievable. Give it a try. It feels great. Honestly, go for it so good.

Speaker 2: 4:17

I've also been hanging out with a lot of clients recently, which has been beautiful, a lot of one-on-one people, which is amazing because it's been years since I've done one-on-one private work, so it has been really fun, really really good to sit and chat with some beautiful people and just be one-on-one with someone for 90 minutes. It's so much fun. And then having that connection with people who have listened to the podcast and have been learning in this space for a while and now I can actually talk to you one-on-one. It is such a cool thing, such a cool thing to go from you know, I don't know you, but you listen to the podcast and now we're, you know, creating this beautiful friendships, coaching relationship where we can talk and we're texting and you know, and just being in this space, this community of growth together. It really is so special. And the doors are still open. There are still a few spots available, a few final spots.

Speaker 2: 5:19

So, if you're curious and you feel like you want to go a little bit deeper into your self-growth, into your personal evolution, if you've been feeling really stuck, just bogged down, if you've been feeling really unmotivated or dealing with any kind of self-doubt or self-criticism or struggling with the relationship you have with yourself, if you've been struggling feeling safe and secure and abundant in your life, if you've been struggling to feel compassionate or feeling empathy, or struggling to connect with love and unconditional love and even with your intuition, you know you've been having trouble setting boundaries or speaking your truth, any of those things. We're going deep into that over the next seven months, you know, and that seven months begins when you say yes to yourself I would love to meet you. I would love to connect with you and guide you on your journey, if it all feels aligned. So if you're curious and you'd like to know more, then go down in the show notes and book a coaching clarity call with me. That's a half an hour call. It is free, so you can just jump on. We chat half an hour. I'll give you all the details. I learned a little bit about you and what it is that you are wanting help with, to make sure that it's something I can help you with, and then we go from there. I highly recommend you give it a go, give it a try, chat with me. It's so good to meet you and to go deeper into this work together, because the reality is, everything we're listening to is powerful, but the implementation of the work, the strength of the work when it becomes something you're embodied in, changes your life.

Speaker 2: 7:02

You know, I've had so much experience with anxiety, you know, and it's still something I struggle with. It's not something I've nailed, but I tell you what all this work has saved my life in so many ways. It saved my relationships, it saved my friendships, it saved my health. It saved so much and even though I still struggle a lot with anxiety, feeling self-doubt, feeling this feeling that you know, struggling with health, anxiety, even though I still get all those things, it's so much better and I have the tools to help me and the understanding to help me. So I highly recommend come and give it a try. Come and see what's going on. If you experience a lot of mental health trouble, anxiety, stuff, feeling scared, fearful, worried, all of those things, come and connect with me because I can help you with that.

Speaker 2: 7:54

I have many different tools and techniques. Some of them are from yoga, some of them are breath work, many is from my readings and my studies over the last four or five years. A lot of them to do with health, a lot of them to do with lifestyle shifts and changes, a lot to do with the mind and a lot of it comes. I've read hundreds of books, listened to hundreds of books, podcasts, everything. I've done the work myself. I've worked with different teachers, different people, and it's just such a joy to pass the knowledge on and to share what we're creating together. A lot of it is just what works for me. It's something that I found really helps you know.

Speaker 2: 8:34

So if you're looking for that, that connection to nature, that peace and calm and joy of living, if you're ready to start living a life like that and to step away from the busyness, the stress, the anxiety, the fear, the worry, then this is your opportunity. This is your calling. Book a coaching, clarity call with me and let's see where we go. Okay, if you want to be one-on-one with me for seven months, you're in. That's perfect, beautiful. If not, that's completely fine too. But book a call in so we can chat. I love to meet you as well. It's so beautiful to be able to meet and to connect. So go forward from there. Check the show notes. The link is there. Message me if you have any questions. But other than that, it has been such a joy to connect and to go deeper into this work. It's a beautiful, beautiful opportunity.

Speaker 2: 9:28

Today's episode I wanted to chat a little bit about making mistakes and what that means and how to deal with it and all of those things. Before we dive into this, I want to share with you a quote that I really love about mistakes. I don't know where it comes from. When I Google this quote, it never gives who said it. So if you know who said it, you know where it came from, let me know. Leave a comment or something, because I'd love to be able to give credit. But it is not mine. But it is a powerful quote here. It is your best teacher is your last mistake? Your best teacher is your last mistake. Powerful, powerful, powerful quote. I love this because it allows you to see that mistakes are not necessarily a bad thing.

Speaker 2: 10:21

Okay, we all make mistakes. You're a human. You make mistakes, it's going to happen. I make countless mistakes. I could literally list several mistakes that I've made in the last seven days, and it's just normal. It's just normal. Everyone makes mistakes. We do this thing. We do it all the time. We do it when we're driving on the roads. We do it when we're interacting with our partner or with our children, or with our family or friends. We make mistakes at work. We make mistakes just on a personal level. We do things like that all the time. It happens all the time. It's not bad to make mistakes. Are there some mistakes that should not be made.

Speaker 2: 11:05

This is an interesting topic because there are some things in life that are non-negotiable in terms of mistakes. So, for example, cheating on your partner, right. Causing harm to another human being, to another being, in general, those kinds of mistakes, they're not mistakes. If we're doing that kind of thing, we're actively causing harm. If we're engaging in violence, if we're letting our partner down, if we're letting our family down, these are non-negotiable things. These are values. Right, that's not a mistake. Cheating on someone is not a mistake, okay. Hurting someone, harming someone, that's not a mistake, you know. But it can. This is where there's a gray area. Right, if I put my jacket on and I fling my arm up and I accidentally hit someone behind me, that's a mistake, right. But if I look at that person and I just punch them in the nose just because I can, not a mistake. So it helps here to get a fair definition of mistake, okay.

Speaker 2: 12:11

So what Google says a mistake is is an act or judgment that is misguided or wrong. So, basically, it's something you're wrong about in some kind of action, word or thought. You're wrong about it. It was a mistake. Yeah, that was a mistake. So when we think about mistakes that people say you know I cheated on them, it was a mistake.

Speaker 2: 12:35

The thing is, we have a heart. We have compassion. If you're connected with your heart, with your ability to feel for others, with good intention, if you have good intention not to harm people, you won't make those kind of mistakes. Okay, we're not going to accidentally harm someone, accidentally cheat on someone. That's not how it works. Can you accidentally trip someone over? Yes, you can't accidentally cheat on someone, okay. Now this might cause, depending on who you are, depending on what's happened.

Speaker 2: 13:08

We've all done things in life and we learn from them. Okay, we learn from these things. We've all treated partners poorly. These things have happened. We've all done things in life and we learn from them. Okay, we learn from these things. We've all treated partners poorly. These things have happened. Okay, but what this is about is building a strong value base, a really strong value base.

Speaker 2: 13:25

So if you are not happy with your partner or you want to talk to your partner about something, or they made you angry, it is not healthy or kind to then cheat on them because of those things and, in fact, that destroys that's end. That's the end of their relationship, because there's trust. That's an issue now. When you lose trust, it's really hard to get that back, bordering on impossible, especially when you do that to someone because you've just proven that, hey, I'm the type of person who will take your trust and run it under a truck. How are you going to trust someone like that? So this is why it's a problem not impossible to rebuild a relationship, but a problem, and people with strong boundaries a lot of the time if they get cheated on, that's it. I'm not talking, I'm just that's. I'm not mad at you, but that's how it is. You cheated on me Like I don't want to. I don't want to have a partner that would do that to me. So that's bottom line for me. That's the full stop at the end of the journey.

Speaker 2: 14:20

So you have to be really mindful about what you do, because what you do, what you say and even what you think impacts other people and it impacts you. Okay, this is not something that we can take lightly. Okay, everything that you think, everything you believe, everything that you feel. Some people allow their emotions to control their actions and, of course, that doesn't go so well. If I get angry at you, I don't have to hit you, right, I don't have to hit you. Right, I don't have to hit you. But if I allow that anger to build up inside me and I allowed it to guide my action, then I could be potentially capable of doing something like that. So this is where you need to really get strong in your sense of self, and this is why self-growth and self-awareness is so important, so important for your relationship's sake, for your life's sake, for everything, everything, okay, we are meant to be growing as human beings and that quote your best teacher is your last mistake.

Speaker 2: 15:24

Every mistake you make is an opportunity to learn. We've all made mistakes before. If you made a mistake, such as blamed your partner for everything, yelled at them when you were upset, didn't give them a chance to listen or to have them be heard, you think you're right all the time, and then that broke up and now you've had some self-reflection and you go hang on a minute. I wasn't open to hearing their perspective or changing myself. I wasn't open to hearing their perspective or changing myself. I was just basically putting all the issues on them.

Speaker 2: 15:56

When it takes two to tango in a relationship, right, you build together, you can't blame one person only for a situation you know there's yeah, I've heard a quote before and I'm going to get this wrong because I'm not sure I think I read it once and it's just hit me now, but there's a really cool quote. It was like an unaware person will blame someone else, a self-aware person will blame themselves and an enlightened person will blame no one. There is no blame, but no one's blameless. Okay, it's not right to put all the blame on one person. So if you've made that mistake in life and you've reflected on it and you've gone, okay, that didn't work because that relationship ended. So what if I give my new partner the time of day? What if I listen? What if I open myself to the fact that maybe I'm wrong sometimes, that maybe what I think is perfect and right isn't right for the next person or for my partner, and then your next relationship will go very differently.

Speaker 2: 17:12

Okay, you have, when people don't learn mistakes from their mistakes, they end up making the same mistake over and over and over and over again. Constantly. You end up with the same type of person over and over and over again, do the same thing over and over and over again. We're making this mistake again and again and again. That's a problem. That's a sign you're not learning. Once you learn from a mistake, you will not make it again, especially if there's care. Okay, for example, if my partner is upset with me, if I've done something, said something and triggered him, made him upset, whatever it is, and he is more than capable because we've done this before, he's more than capable he comes to me, he informs me what was wrong, what he didn't like, how it made him feel, and the whole time someone's giving you that.

Speaker 2: 18:05

It's very hard to stand there and listen openly with compassion. I'm not saying that's easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it because it makes for happy relationships, right. But it's hard. You get this frustration coming up, especially if you're like I didn't do anything wrong, blah, blah, blah. You get this kind of feeling of retaliating, I've got to retaliate. But then you listen, you let them finish and once they finish, here's a few things you can try.

Speaker 2: 18:36

Number one acknowledge how they feel. Whether you meant to hurt them or not is irrelevant. If they feel sad, if they feel let down, if they feel hurt from something you did, even if that wasn't your intention, even if you don't think you did it, I don't care, they still feel that way. So you say I see you. I see that you're hurt and feeling upset because of this situation. Just see it. Don't tell them they're crazy for feeling that way. Don't push it back on them. You know how's that going to help anybody? If you feel the way you feel it? Geez, it does wonders to have someone go. Oh, I see how that must feel that way. You know, give your partner that they're worth that time. Then you apologize. I'm so sorry for being the cause of your hurt. I'm so sorry. I didn't handle that very well. I see how that could have been interpreted the wrong way.

Speaker 2: 19:40

And then you would say what you'll do next time. I won't say that again. Next time I'll say this I won't make a joke like that again. Next time I'll try doing this. How does that sound? Would that work better for you? Next time I'll try doing this. How does that sound? Would that work better for you? And you can also acknowledge what you're really doing. Say, I promise I wasn't trying to hurt you when I said that. I was just joking. I, you know, I was just playing around. I didn't think it was a big deal. I thought it was cute.

Speaker 2: 20:09

You know, whatever it is, whatever you said that, or if there was a little bit of anger there or frustration, you say, yeah, you know what, I was a little bit upset and I let that come out in my words and I apologize for that. It's not okay. I'm learning. I will do my very best in the future not to have that happen again. And then you show up, you follow through. If you're yelling at them again the next day, you haven't learned the lesson, and they have to be willing to hear you as well.

Speaker 2: 20:38

Forgiveness, let's move forward together in any mistake you make. It is like that. If you make a mistake and you go oh I did that again. Well, you know what, forgive yourself, let it go. What are you going to do next time? How are you going to handle the same situation next time? How will it be different? How are you going to show up If this mistake is teaching you something? What is that lesson From this episode?

Speaker 2: 21:11

I hope you understand one of three things. One mistakes are completely normal. However, there are some things that are often classified as mistakes, but you need to be really mindful, because they're not. They're not. You need to understand the strength of your values and show up as the kind of person you want to be, with love, with kindness, without any intention to harm others. If you accidentally harm someone, even though you were trying not to, that's a mistake. But if you went out of your way and you did something unforgivable, that's on you. That is on you. You got to take responsibility for that and don't do it again. Be a better person. Decide to be the type of person who shows up with love, respect and kindness, even if you're struggling with a person. That's the first thing. Mistakes are normal, but don't let that make you lazy in allowing yourself to just make countless mistakes and not caring about them.

Speaker 2: 22:18

Which leads me to number two, which is mistakes are your responsibility. You've made them. It's now your job to clean them up, to learn from them and decide how that's not going to happen again. One mistake is a mistake. If you do it twice, then it's more than that. Now it's getting to the point where you obviously don't care enough to try, because once you've learned the lesson, you won't do it again if you truly care about it.

Speaker 2: 22:46

And number three mistakes are teachers. They make you stronger, they make you wiser, they make you more capable of dealing with everything in life. They are the thing that shapes you, from the time you're a small child to the end of your life. All of those mistakes are going to teach you as you go along. Enjoy your life. Make your mistakes, learn from them. Acknowledge that you made a mistake. It takes a big person to go. I made a mistake. I apologize for that. That was me. Takes a big person to do that. Takes an even bigger person to learn from it and try a different way next time.

Speaker 2: 23:33

Thank you, magical Human, for being here and for sharing your time and your energy. I appreciate you. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating or a review on the platform that you listen to this podcast through. Also leave a comment on Spotify. I love to read them. I love to reply to them. It's great to build that conversation around the episodes. Share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at madison underscore mindset. I'd love to re-share it and to tell you I appreciate your time. Thank you, enjoy the rest of your day. Remember you are loved you.