281 ~ Are You Living Your Life or Society's Blueprint?

Hello Magical Human & welcome back to Madison Mindset the Podcast 🧚🏼

Society feeds us a constant stream of "must-haves" for happiness and success, but many of these things aren't actually necessary for a fulfilling life. Join me in this episode as I explore thirteen common expectations that you can choose to reject if they don't align with your true self 🪬📿

episode overview:
• keeping up with trends is exhausting, expensive, and ultimately meaningless 
• humans grow and change, and our professional lives can evolve too
• the standard life checklist is someone else's blueprint, not yours
• be selective about technology - only keep what genuinely enhances your life
• embrace your natural self
• partners and kids are choices, not requirements - do what makes you happy
• the "perfect body" doesn't exist and wouldn't last if it did
• advertisements are designed to make you feel inadequate 
• degrees aren't necessary for many successful paths
• money, numerous friends, and constant approval don't guarantee happiness

You are enough exactly as you are

Love,

Madison Mindset xx

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Societal Programming
• 4:44 Understanding Why You're Being Sold To
• 10:36 Breaking Free From Trends and Expectations
• 18:05 Rethinking Careers and Life Milestones
• 27:36 Questioning Beauty Standards and Technology
• 33:13 Partners, Kids, and Personal Choices
• 37:24 Money, Friends, and True Happiness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello Magical Human and welcome back to Madison Mindset, the podcast. In this episode, I'm going to be going through some of the things that society tells us we need. That is definitely something you need to be happy to be successful, whatever it is in this life, and I'm going to basically say we don't necessarily need those things, okay. So I hope this episode brings you some clarity and some peace, because a lot of the stuff that we're told that we need we don't actually need. Okay. So when you're ready, let's jump in and start to reframe everything that we have been taught. Let's begin.

Speaker 2: 0:44

Hello, magical Human, and welcome to Madison Mindset Podcast. My name is Madison. I'm a yoga teacher, a mindset and spirituality coach and a complete earth fairy. I see a world that is peaceful and easy to live in. I see a world that is peaceful and easy to live in, humans that are awakened and enlightened towards who they are and what life truly is and why we are here. I understand life can be really hard.

Speaker 2: 1:21

I've had a huge journey with anxiety myself. I understand what it's like to feel overwhelmed, overworked, stressed and frustrated within this earth. It is this journey that led me to begin my own growth journey, and it's only through those struggles that I was able to birth this podcast, so that you can have the tools and techniques and knowledge to help you step forward and be a being of light, a magical earthly being who's grounded, supported, who takes on challenges with love and embraces the lessons that each day brings. You are that being. I am here to walk you there. You will find many different kinds of episodes through this podcast. All are created in the moment and with love for you. Find the one you need for this moment and enjoy. Take a moment for yourself, sit down with your journal and tune in. Welcome, let's begin.

Speaker 1: 3:13

I love you. Okay, I have 13 things here that are reasonably common. Most of us in this world would be pushed towards these sort of things. You'll definitely resonate with some of them, if not all of them. There are many more and there might be some that are more specific to you. And if there's one that you want to chat to me about, always feel free to email me or DM me on Instagram. And, yeah, let's have a chat, because I think it's really important to really understand what's going on.

Speaker 1: 3:43

Okay, you have to understand that the society you're living in, especially if you're in the West I don't know a lot about everywhere else, but in the West, someone's making money off you, your entire life. People are making money off you. Okay, the clothes that you're wearing, the makeup you're buying, the hairdressers, the beauty industry, the technology, you know the real estate agents, you know the schools, the everyone. Everyone is making money off you. So you have to understand that not everyone has your best interests at heart. What we are fed and what we are told serve someone else. So it's your job to decide what is really for you, instead of being taught. You need this, you need that, you need this and you need that. When you're very young, to the point where it starts, you start to get programmed by okay, I need this, I need that, I need this, I need that. And then you go through your life trying to do those things right. But everyone is doing that in search of peace, happiness, joy. And we're told that if you do this, you will be peaceful, you will be happy. This is not true. Okay, some of us will not want any of these things I'm about to go through. Others will. Okay, take it or leave it. You know I'm about 50-50 with these things. But you don't have to believe in absolutely everything and take it for absolute truth, because if you do that, you're going to be miserable, you're going to suffer, because not everything is for you. All of us are different, we're living different lives, we want different things. So it is your job. You have to really get good at discerning what is for me, what is not for me, understanding that you can't let anyone tell you what you should and should not do, what you want and what you do not want. You have to get stronger than that. You have to bring yourself into the position where you can decide for yourself what is for you, okay. So, as I said, these are the top 13 that I can think of. There are many more, but these are the most relevant. Again, message me if you have any questions about any other ones or about the ones we're about to go through.

Speaker 1: 5:52

Okay, so the first one is keeping up with the trends. So this can mean anything from fashion to hair design, to the new new car, to what everyone else is doing, okay, what everyone else's hobbies are, to what everything you're seeing on Instagram is, to everything that's going on and you feel like you need to keep up with it. When I was a teenager, I kept up with all the trends. I spent all my very little hard-earned money on keeping up with the right clothes, the right hair bands, the right piercings, the right all the things right, and a lot of it just wasn't for me. I didn't particularly like the outfits people were wearing or the hairstyles that people were doing, but I spent the money and the time to make myself look like that so that I could keep up with the cool kids so that I could keep up with the cool kids, right.

Speaker 1: 6:49

So trends come and go. They're very shallow. They do not mean anything when you look at what really matters in this world. Trends very far down the list. Every single one of them are very short lived. So if a trend comes in and everyone starts doing it, you don't need to feel pressured to do it as well, because they will get over it very quickly. If you want to do it and you actually like it, then go for it. But if you're doing it out of self-doubt, if you're trying to fit in, if you're trying to be accepted, this is not healthy reasons for doing this. Right Again, people spend money on buying the next trend, creating the next trend in their life.

Speaker 1: 7:29

So you decide what you're going to do. But if you spend your life trying to follow all the latest trends, you're going to have a very hard time, because they fluctuate all the time and there are several different categories of trends. So, no, you don't need to keep up with the trends. Your life's for living, not for keeping up with trends. That's number one. Number two is a stable career. Now, this is a big one. Okay.

Speaker 1: 7:52

When you're in school, you're told you need to pick a career, pick a job and stick with it. Get the degree, get whatever you need, the certification, the diploma. Go and get a job, climb the ladder, retire. Humans are living for a very long time. Now we're living up into 70s, 80s, 90s, and retirement age is being pushed further and further away. Do you really want to be doing the exact same job that you started when you were 18? When you're 80? When you're 70. I can't think of any job I'd want to do for that long. Right, that's a long time.

Speaker 1: 8:31

Okay, you are a human being. You grow and change and fluctuate and your interests and ideas and creations change over time. So if you start a career and 10 years in or five years in, you go, I'm bored, change it, don't worry. Do not worry. You do not need to do one thing forever and this day and age you can pretty much learn anything you want online. You can jump into any job you want. You can really have a play, unless you want to be a lawyer, a doctor, a surgeon or something like that. That's very science or medical based. You really can just jump and switch and change and have fun with it.

Speaker 1: 9:11

You know like I wanted to be a teacher when I was 18. That went out the window. I did it for a while, did some childcare, then I became a music teacher right, and then I became yoga teacher, then mindset coach and podcasting. You know all this stuff and I'm still doing the yoga and everything. But now I'm going into women's circles and natural healing and essential oils. It's going to continue to morph. It always will. You have to allow it to morph, and I'm only 27.

Speaker 1: 9:36

So that's nine years, several different jobs in that time, several different places. You're allowed to have fun. This is your life. The people you spend the most time around in your life are your colleagues. So you spend a lot of time working. Don't spend 60 years of your life bored. Okay, you do not need one career, you can have several. Don't put a cap on yourself. Do whatever you want. Don't worry about climbing the ladder. There's a roof on top of that ladder anyway. You hit the ceiling and that's it. Okay, let's remove the roof and maybe there's unlimited places for you to go. So, no, you don't really need a stable career. Obviously, if you have a family and things, you do need stable income. I'm not telling you to quit your job and look for a job for a year, and you know, obviously, do it smart, but you can easily move from one job to another job with pay coming in. So give yourself freedom and have a play.

Speaker 1: 10:33

The third one is checking all the boxes. So the boxes I'm talking about are the standard life experience, right? So you go school, right, high school, degree, some kind of study, career, you jump into a job, you climb the ladder, you make lots of money, you buy a house, you get married, you have kids, you retire, you have grandkids, maybe you do some travel and then you die, right? That's basically the structure. I've never liked that structure because the part of life that's supposed to be really fun is at the very end. And who knows if we're going to make it to the very end, most will have fun now. Right, you do not have to check all those boxes. That is someone else's checklist. If you don't like that checklist, make your own. Better yet, throw out the checklist and just live your life in the present, do what feels right in the present moment. You don't need to live checking off boxes. You really don't. You'll find it very boring, very mundane very quickly. Some people love that structure and if that's for you, fantastic. But if it's not for you, don't feel bad about throwing that list out and making your own.

Speaker 1: 11:47

Number four, keeping up with the latest technology. You don't need that Now. Technology is a great gift. It is a blessing. You know we wouldn't be where we are without it. However, a lot of it's not healthy, right? There's amazing amounts of radiation and EMF coming off all this technology and it's not good for our mental health and let alone our physical health. So you don't need all the technology.

Speaker 1: 12:16

In fact, I would be very, very picky with what technology you have. You don't need TVs, laptops, ipads, phones, ipods. You know Apple watches all this stuff, iwatches you don't need all of it. Okay, I understand that we all need some of it. Okay, most of us will use a laptop or a computer for work. Most people have a phone now. You know many of these things you do need, and if you need it, that's great. But be very mindful. If you don't need it, get rid of it or don't get it, all right, it's all very expensive. You know, I would say no one needs Xboxes and PlayStations and all that stuff. If you love playing games, that's great. Just be mindful with it. You know I would like.

Speaker 1: 13:01

I literally only use my phone and my laptop. It's all for work. It's all for work. Tvs were the only things I had trouble with because I would just binge for hours. So you know, I'm still living at home, so we've got TVs around. It's very hard to stay away from them. But when I have my own place, my partner and I are like, yeah, no TV, no TV. No one wants to waste the time. We want to read or do something else. I don't want the temptation.

Speaker 1: 13:24

Okay, so you decide what is best for you. What technology do you need? I understand you might need a phone. What technology do you not need? Okay, remember, want is very different to need. Everyone's got to watch, everyone's got to watch. Who cares? You don't need it. Okay, understand what you need and what you don't need and prioritize your health over all the products, all the technology that's being sold. You know you are still capable of doing things for yourself. You don't need everything. Just pick and choose. You've got to live in the modern world. I completely understand that, obviously, but just be very picky with what you bring into your life, because all of it is going to have a direct impact on your health.

Speaker 1: 14:05

Next one, keeping up with beauty. Beauty, everyone loves it. Very high earning industry Everyone wants to look perfect. No one wants to age. Everyone wants to be front page of a magazine Perfect. Here's the thing. You're in a human body, right? It's going to get older, it's going to get sick, it's going to break down and no matter what you do, you will not change these facts.

Speaker 1: 14:34

Personally, I get my hair cut once every three months-ish, which is great. I don't bother coloring it because I have to do it again. Who cares? You know my natural color is nice. I live with that. Right, my partner does my eyebrows. He's really good with them. You know that's great. Other than that, I have some natural shampoo. I have some natural skin products. You know all stuff that doesn't affect the earth and that's it. No makeup. And I'm not saying you need to do what I do. That's not the case. I'm just saying that not everyone has to do that and for me, my skin looks better without all the crap. My hair looks better without all the extra stuff.

Speaker 1: 15:17

Okay, so again, whatever you want to do is completely personal and up to you. It's your thing. Just understand. You don't have to look any particular way. Everyone, you see every model, magazines, all of that stuff. Most people online have a filter over them. No one is just being raw and authentic. Very few people are walking around in their natural skin, in their natural being, in their natural body. Okay, it's completely okay to embrace who you are naturally and you know what. You're only in this body for a short time. Why don't you embrace what it looks like while it's here?

Speaker 1: 15:46

Okay, so you were taught if you can get this product, if you're, you know, self-conscious about this your nose you can pretty much make your nose disappear with contour now, or something. You know it's ridiculous. You know you can do anything. You can hide the color of your eyes. You can change the shape of your eyebrows. You can change the shape of your lips. You can do all kinds of things. Do you need to do that? And why are you doing that? Because it's certainly not for your bank account, or for your body, because it's not healthy, or for the earth, because that's just a strain on the earth. Who are you doing it? For? Ego, self-esteem? Just reflect Again. If you want to do it, that's fine. I'm not judging you. Do your thing Seriously. I just want you to bring some more awareness into it and understand that you don't need to do it if you don't want to.

Speaker 1: 16:33

The next a partner. You don't need to get married. You don't need to have a partner. Now I have a partner. I love him very much. He's my absolute soulmate. If he wasn't here, I wouldn't bother. I don't bother with people who are not completely aligned. For me, really, you don't necessarily need a partner. It's lovely to have a partner. It's always nice to have family. We are community people, human beings need community, so that's great. But if you don't want a partner, you don't have to have one. If you don't want to get married, you don't have to do that. I've had many friends and many different clients say I just don't want to. I'm like well then, don't? You know how much the marriage industry makes. Seriously, you don't need to do that. You don't need to. If you want to, that's great. If you don't want to, that's also fine. Do your thing. No one cares.

Speaker 1: 17:24

Okay, the reason we do we feel pressured, we feel like we have to. Our parents told us we had to. You know, all my friends did it. Whatever it is, you don't have to. If you want to, that's great. Take ownership of it. I want this Awesome. But you don't have to, you'll be fine without it.

Speaker 1: 17:40

And that leads me into the next one, which is kids. You don't have to have kids. Okay, there are plenty of human beings on the planet. There was once a time where maybe you should have kids, because there's not enough humans and we're going to keep the species alive. If anything, we could do with a few less humans. If you want to have kids, if you're going to take the time to nurture them and raise them well and bring human beings onto this planet that we are all grateful for, that exists and we're like, yes, so glad that person exists, that's awesome. But if you don't have the time, you can't be bothered, or you don't even like kids, then don't Do your thing. Do your thing, enjoy your life, fill it with other things. You don't have to have kids, not necessary. If you want to, that's great. Do that. If not, that's fine too. No judgment here. Do your thing. As long as you're happy, the rest of the world will be happy as well.

Speaker 1: 18:30

The next one the perfect body. Now, this kind of comes into the beauty one, but this is super important. Okay, there is no perfect body, nowhere there is a human body that you're in. Human body is known to be imperfect. It's doing its best. All of them are different. They don't last forever. Don't worry about it. Do not worry so much about having the perfect body. Don't even try. Don't even try. Keep yourself healthy, move your body, take care of your body, of course, do the best you can with the body that you have, but don't worry about making the perfect body, because even if you do manage, by some miracle, to create the perfect body which probably won't happen, because, if you're looking for that, it'll never be enough but if you do, by some miracle, create the perfect body, it won't last. You're still going to get old and die one day, so don't worry about it.

Speaker 1: 19:23

If you see all those advertisements, they need oh, your body needs this. You're like whatever. There's no perfect body, I'm fine. Okay, take a breath. You're a human. We're all with you.

Speaker 1: 19:35

The next one falling for ads. I just kind of mentioned that Ads are to get you to buy something. That's their priority. Some companies really want to help you, but ultimately they need to make money. Okay, so just be aware whoever you're giving your money to should be a place that you approve of, that you like their philosophy, you like the way they take care of the earth, or you like the way they do things, whatever it is, show up for them. But don't show up for every advertisement that triggers you a little bit, that tells you you could be better if you do this. Your life would be better if you had that. They're feeding you little prompts to get you to buy something. Don't fall for it. Look at an ad.

Speaker 1: 20:17

Next time you see an ad, understand exactly what it is. Look at it and go. You're trying to get me to buy that. I can see it. I'm using psychology. I see that. Well, you know what. I don't want to catch you later. Or maybe sometimes you go. You know what. I know you want me to buy that, but I actually think that'd be a really great idea. So I'm going to do it, but because I chose to, not because you tricked me, right? So just understand that ads are ads for a reason. They're trying to get your money. Give it to them if you want, but just have some more awareness over who you're giving your money to.

Speaker 1: 20:52

The next one a degree. You don't need a degree. Back in the day, maybe you needed a degree Again. If you want to be a lawyer, a doctor, a surgeon, a dentist, all of those fancy big things. Scientist, yeah, you probably need a degree because you've got to learn all that stuff. But for most of us you don't need a degree, not anymore. Do not feel pressured to go to uni, to go to college. If you want to, that's great, go for it. But you don't have to. There are many successful people in this world who barely finished high school, let alone got a degree. You know, spread your wings. If it doesn't suit you, then don't do it, that's completely fine.

Speaker 1: 21:34

Next one heaps of money. You don't need heaps of money. There are plenty of people who have heaps of money, who are still miserable. There are plenty of people with no money that are very happy. You don't need money to be happy. You might need money to do your thing in this world and to have a house and to whatever it is, and that's fine. But even so, that's not going to make you happy. Only you can make you happy and that costs nothing. You can be homeless and be joyful. So don't worry too much about how much money you have. When you die, you can't take it all with you anyway. So you don't get in a fancy seat. Wherever it is. Wherever we go after we go, we're all equal, okay, so don't focus on that so much. Just do your best and that's enough.

Speaker 1: 22:18

Second last one heaps of friends. You don't need heaps of friends. In fact, I'd recommend a handful of really good friends. You know, if you have 20 friends like not really can't really be bothered with them, they're all right, that's fine, but it'd be much better to have two or three really good friends that have got your back. You don't need a thousand friends to be happy. You can be lonely in a crowded room and you can feel completely at one with everything on your own. Again, we are community people. It's good to be in touch with the community and to get to know your community, but you don't have to have a million besties.

Speaker 1: 22:56

Okay, the last one approval. Most human beings want to be approved of. We want to be enough. All right, you don't necessarily need that. You don't need to be approved of. Screw it Seriously. You do what you want to do and the people who really care about you will cheer you on. That's it. It's that simple. Thank you so much for being here. Magical Human, I appreciate you. If you enjoyed, please leave a rating or a review on the platform that you listen to this podcast through, and let me know which one did you resonate with the most, which one challenged you, and what other ones would you have added to this list? Thank you for being here. I appreciate you and I'll see you in the next episode. Thank you.