277 ~ Mindful Communication and Understanding Gossip

Hello Magical Human & welcome back to Madison Mindset the Podcast 🧚🏼

Episode Overview:
• understanding gossip and its toxic implications 
• correlation between gossiping and low self-esteem 
• the damaging effects of gossip 
• strategies for avoiding gossip in daily life 
• building your self worth
• finding compassion for those who gossip

Gossip takes a heavy toll on both individuals and relationships, often indicating a deeper issue of self-worth and esteem. This episode explores the nature of gossip, its harmful effects, and practical approaches to break the cycle and foster uplifting conversations.

You are free to speak with love 🪞💚

Love,

Madison Mindset x

Chapters

• 0:00 The Dangers of Gossip
• 12:37 Self-Improvement Through Gossip Awareness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello Magical Human and welcome back to Madison Mindset the podcast. In this episode we're going to be diving into gossip, why we shouldn't gossip, what gossiping actually means, and then also give you some practical tips to stay away from gossip. So when you're ready, let's jump in. Hello Magical Human and welcome to Madison Mindset Podcast. My name is Madison Mindset podcast. My name is Madison.

Speaker 1: 0:45

I'm a yoga teacher, a mindset and spirituality coach and a complete earth fairy. I see a world that is peaceful and easy to live in, humans that are awakened and enlightened towards who they are and what life truly is and why we are here. I understand life can be really hard. I've had a huge journey with anxiety myself. I understand what it's like to feel overwhelmed, overworked, stressed and frustrated within this earth. It is this journey that led me to begin my own growth journey. It is only through those struggles that I was able to birth this podcast, so that you can have the tools and techniques and knowledge to help you step forward and be a being of light, a magical earthly being. To help you step forward and be a being of light, a magical earthly being who is grounded, supported, who takes on challenges with love and embraces the lessons that each day brings you are that being, I am here to walk you there. You will find many different kinds of episodes through this podcast. All are created in the moment and with love for you. Find the one you need for this moment and enjoy. Take a moment for yourself, sit down with your journal and tune in. Welcome, let's begin, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1: 3:13

First, I want to give you the definition of gossip. If you go and check this out on Google, you'll find the exact same description. I'm just going to read it directly from there. Dictionary definition of gossip Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

Speaker 1: 3:41

Okay, so even reading the description, it sounds toxic, right? Gossip is something you should stay away from always. What does it say about someone who is engaging in gossip? If you are someone who engages in gossip or you have people around you who do the same, basically, it is a telltale sign that your own self-worth is quite low. Your self-esteem is quite low. Your view or your opinion of yourself or your own life is lacking.

Speaker 1: 4:14

Therefore, you find joy in talking about other people's lives and usually in putting other people down. Putting other people down, you know in. You know saying, oh, they did this wrong, they did that wrong, they shouldn't be doing this or they did that, you know. So you're basically building yourself up through making someone else appear worse than you, okay. So when you're doing that, not only is that going to be damaging towards the other person we have all been spoken about, we understand how it feels. It is quite damaging and you can actually really affect people's lives. You know when these kinds of things get out and you know these lies get spread. You actually can really negatively impact someone else's life, especially if such thing is not true, which most of the time it's not.

Speaker 1: 5:00

Usually it is embellished for gossip's sake, okay. And even if there is something really bad going on or you think this or that of that person, it's really not your business. So the best thing you can do is stop gossiping. Avoid talking about other people altogether, even if you think that they deserve it or they did something wrong or whatever it is Okay. It is important to mention that it is not gossip.

Speaker 1: 5:26

When you're talking to your family about the struggles you might be experiencing or you know you had this issue with this person, it's completely fine to talk about your problems and the things that you're going through. It becomes gossip when you start to go on and on about this other person, making up stories about them, bringing up stuff from their past, stuff that is completely irrelevant to what's actually going on with you. So it would be better to just stick with facts. This is how it made me feel. This is what they did, being logical, stick with the facts when you're talking about what's going on and that way you won't sway other people's opinions of this person or invite them to dig on this person, essentially because it's not going to help you. Even if you do have problems with a certain person, it's not going to fix the situation just to talk about them to make yourself feel better. Okay, so we just got to face the reality. If you're talking about someone, your own self-esteem is what we should be looking at, that is what it shines a light on, and even being aware of this for yourself. So if you are being spoken about, or you do have friends or family that tend to talk about people quite a lot, what you can do is use this information and go okay, this is pointing to their self-esteem, you know. That way you're not feeling like you need to join in or that you need to get involved in the situation. You can just simply leave it, walk away from it, which would be the better option in many of these circumstances. So gossip is a no in so many ways.

Speaker 1: 6:53

We spoke about how it does potentially damage the life of the person you're talking about, but even just looking at you and the people around you, it brings the energy down. It makes you feel better for a moment. For a moment you feel better and then you feel bad. Many of the times you feel guilt, regret and frustration at yourself. So often you turn into self-punishing. You know, through feelings of guilt and frustration at yourself, anxiety, all these things but you'll also bring up your own stress and anxiety levels. You know it's a very damaging energy. It's very negative and it is going to impact you. You know it can impact your sleep, it can impact your digestion, it can impact your immune system, it'll impact your mood and how your brain functions. It will literally impact your relationships with people around you and it can also make people trust you less, because you're basically putting it out there that I'm not a trustworthy person. If you tell me anything, I'm probably going to talk to someone else about it. If I see it here, I'm going to make up a story about you there. That's not someone that anyone wants to be friends with, let alone give information to and talk about something. So you may find yourself a little more lonely because no one wants to be around someone they can't trust.

Speaker 1: 8:07

If people are hanging out with you and they seem to enjoy the gossip, then their self-esteem is also on the line. Okay, so all of you together getting together to gossip is just one big pool of lacking in self-esteem. Right, it is an ego thing. It is not about the other person, it is about you. So how do you avoid gossip? There's a few ways, and the way that is my favorite and also is the way that led me to only true friends which means less friends but much higher quality is to just stay away from people who tend to gossip. It's not your business about their self-esteem. It's not your responsibility to fix their self-esteem, you know, but it is your responsibility to handle what you are around. So if people tend to just talk about gossip, and that's it, I recommend hanging out with other people If these are people in your family or people you deeply care about and it's not so easy to just stop hanging out with them, then I would say, actually bring it up when people are talking about it so often, especially with my family, because a few of my family members love gossip.

Speaker 1: 9:09

When this happens, I'll either change the subject altogether onto a completely new subject, or I'll say something nice about the person that they're talking about and say something reasonable, like maybe they have a lot going on or maybe it's really none of your business. Or, remember, you know they're human and they make mistakes, so we can let it go. Let's move on to other things. And when you do that, you're taking the higher road, as people know. You're taking a more loving, more compassionate, more kind road, and when one once one person does that, the whole group will have to do that. There is no other choice because you've introduced a higher frequency and they have to take that. You know it's very addictive, it's very attractive. So often you'll find if you say something nice about a person, suddenly the whole group will go yeah, they're beautiful, we love them. It's often very funny how quickly they change.

Speaker 1: 9:59

That being said, it is tricky, especially if you say it around friends, because often people look at you like, oh okay, miss Perfect, mr Perfect, whatever it is. But again, that is a signal of their self-esteem issues. If they're going to take your kindness as an act of charity or you know being, you know, good or precious towards everyone, then that's again an issue that they need to deal with and I would say, do it, trigger them. It's good. Sometimes we need to be triggered, you know, especially out of something you know point to something that they could grow in, not in an egotistical way like I'm better than you, I don't gossip, not like that, because that's the same thing but just in a kind way, like I don't want to sit here and talk about someone else, let's talk about us, or let's talk about something that's going on, or let's speak of people kindly. You know that will invite them to think about their decisions and maybe to change some of the decisions that they're making and will also show them that you're growing as well.

Speaker 1: 10:57

But you cannot react when people, if people get all like oh yes, you know, this is perfect. You know you have to allow triggers and people to be upset that you've changed the topic of the conversation or the frequency of the conversation. But you have to be able to stand your ground without getting egotistical about it, because that's not what it's about. So this is a good way to do it either Just stay away from those people, find some friends that have worked on themselves They've got some self-esteem and self-worth and then just re-guide, redirect conversations as best you can, and what you'll be doing is helping people come out of that darkness, because it's not nice, even if it does feel good for a moment. It's kind of like a sugar hit or a caffeine hit. It doesn't last, you know. It's only a moment that makes you feel better and then you just feel like garbage afterwards. So you can do that.

Speaker 1: 11:47

Another thing you can do is to prioritize working on your own self-worth. Okay. So if you are someone who gossips or you're around people who gossip and I'm telling you now this points right to your self-worth start doing some self-worth work. You know that really helps. There are plenty of books you can read. I've got plenty of podcast episodes on self-worth and self-love. Go and check them out, um. And you can also hire a coach. Have someone to help you. If, um, you would like an easier option, you can jump over to my Patreon, and I do have many coaching videos there ready to go on helping you build a better relationship with yourself. So you can jump over to Patreon, check it out and, yeah, that can help. Links are below um, yeah, just work on yourself.

Speaker 1: 12:37

Be kinder to yourself and make sure that you're not gossiping about people, especially in your mind. You know when you're walking around the streets judging people. Try to avoid that. Try to compliment people instead in your head. Really work on your own self, because what you are on the inside is going to reflect on the outside and it will also reflect in the people that you hang out with and their topic of conversation. So you can definitely check that out as well. It's a really good way to decrease the amount of gossip in your life and also to improve the relationship you have with yourself.

Speaker 1: 13:08

Also, try to understand this one very simple fact which I will often give kids when I'm coaching children. I've often coached older kids to teenagers who are being bullied or have issues with friends and things like that. If someone is talking about you or they're bullying you or they're just being nasty, ask yourself this question is that person a happy person? And the answer that every child and every adult, if you ask them the question, is going to give you is no, because logically, you understand that if someone is putting you down or talking to you that way, there's no way they're a happy person, because happy people are nice, genuinely happy people, confident people are nice people. They just are, they're kind, they've got no reason to pull you down. People who feel the need to pull you down are not happy people. They're trying to get you down onto their happiness level. So understand, if people are talking about you or whatever it is, or even if you are someone who talks about someone and you somehow ended up on this video or this podcast, understand that you're not happy. Okay, because if you're happy, you treat people with love and kindness, you show up for people, and that's the reality of the situation. The more people know that, the better it is, because then we can look at bullies or people who are nasty to us and go well, poor them. It must be horrible inside their head. Okay, so you can find forgiveness and compassion for those people because obviously they're not happy. Okay Again, if you're someone who hurts other people to make yourself feel better and you're just realizing this.

Speaker 1: 14:47

Now go back to the previous point. Understand that you need to work on your relationship with yourself, work on kindness and compassion. Hey, visit a yoga studio, start doing some yoga, do some meditation. Check out more podcast episodes. Read some self-help books Okay, but remember you don't want to absorb too much content. You know, read some stuff and then start to implement it in your life, and that's when you'll start to really understand it and know it at a deeper level.

Speaker 1: 15:19

Okay, the final point here, to help you with gossiping and anything like that whether you're doing it yourself or there's people in your life that are doing it as well is to start to point to what you know. What are the things that you gossip about exactly? What are the things the topic of conversation usually? Because you know there's many topics, many different avenues you can take when it comes to talking about someone. Is it about their relationship? Is it about their money? Is it about their travels? Is it about their work? Is it about their kids? What is it about them or about other people that you tend to talk about the most? And if you can find a specific topic that you talk about say it's always financial stuff then that points to your financial issues. You know you have insecurities with your finances and you're trying to justify your situation by putting someone else's financial situation down, which makes you feel better about yourself. If it's about the way they parent, then you have insecurities about the way you parent or the way that you want to parent and you're making yourself feel better in your decision by putting someone else's parenting down. Okay, so basically any area that you're judging someone else points directly at you. So that's a really easy way to understand.

Speaker 1: 16:28

Where do I need to grow? Okay, I'm really insecure about my relationship. Okay, I'm really insecure about my body. You know, women, particularly who gossip about other women's bodies, are usually the most insecure within their own body. So I would say, do some body work. You know, love yourself, work on loving your own body, and then you won't feel the need to put other women down for their body and what they're choosing to do with it. Okay, so I hope you enjoyed this episode on gossip. I hope you now understand a little bit more about what it is, what it truly means if you're engaging in it, why it's so damaging and how you can stay away from it and start to evolve away from that. Please share this episode with someone who needs it. I appreciate you and I'll see you in the next episode.

Speaker 2: 17:14

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